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America’s bowels, it seems, are irritated.

I’m a child of the 80’s. The “Me” generation. We were all about oversized clothes, neon, going sockless and being relatively discrete regarding personal physical discomforts. Sure, Madonna and Prince were doing their shock and awe acts; it was the dawn of the MTV age (when they still showed music videos on television). However, as far as television commercials went, we were still pretty prudish. We didn’t talk AT ALL about dad’s problem of taking care of business with mom and the closest we got to tummy issues were the implied “Hey, does your stomach hurt?” with some guy looking uncomfortable. We got the drift.

The first television commercial that I remember to openly address digestive issues was for Activia yogurt. There may have been others but I remember watching actress Jamie Lee Curtis talk frankly about not “going” regularly and I felt a wee bit uncomfortable. Pooping is something we don’t want to talk about. Everyone does it, as the children’s book says, but….well, everyone does it, so we don’t need to talk about it, okay?!

Oh, but advertisers DO need to talk about it. And often, it seems as we witnessed yesterday during the Super Bowl commercial breaks.

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We’ve all seen the impossibly long list of side effects that medicines can cause. During this presidential election, especially before the New Hampshire primary, there has been much talk about how opioid abuse can lead to heroin addiction. Well, fear not, opioid users – we now have a medicine that is specifically targeted to help you relieve your bottlenecked intestines. Sorry about the heroin addiction though.

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Doctors, pharmacists, nurses, and your mom exist for many reasons, and one is to ask them about how to help things move along…as it were.

At least Super Bowl advertisers can rest easy in their beds tonight. Millions of people now know they need never fear another uncomfortable day after eating too much cheese.

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Super Bowel indeed.